How to Prepare for Christmas When Christmas is Hard

Christmas can stir up a range of emotions. Some of us may feel a sense of anticipation or excitement about seeing friends and family, giving and receiving gifts, or eating seasonal food. However, many people may worry about the cost and expectations involved in the season. Some may grieve the absence of loved ones who have passed away, or feel more keenly the ache of broken relationships. Others may dread or feel anxious about seeing friends or family where relationships are strained or difficult. Often, we experience a mixture of these emotions and more. For some people, Christmas is not simply a season of goodwill or joy.

No matter what associations we have with Christmas, we cannot escape the season. It's a testimony to the enduring power of the light of Christ, but it can be challenging for those who find Christmas hard.

If Christmas feels hard this year, you’re not alone, and God has not forgotten you. Jesus did not come into the world because He wanted a party; He came to reach the broken-hearted, and to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10).

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

The Reality of Christmas

The sparkle of the season is hard to miss once the Christmas TV adverts start and shop and street decorations are up. In reality, even though the Nativity features a star and angels, Christmas has never been simply a time of sparkle and cheer.

Jesus was born to Mary in a stable. Mary was far from home and not even in a home when she gave birth. As a mother, I cannot imagine giving birth with the added discomfort of hay and animal smells! It all looks rather picturesque on Christmas cards today, but in reality, the setting would not appeal to most women.

The circumstances of Jesus' arrival were not coincidental. They tell us that God does not avoid messy, challenging, or less-than-ideal situations. In fact, He chose this. So we can confidently bring to Him our messy, challenging, or less-than-ideal situations. We can bring our heartbreak, our losses, our worries, our difficulties, and our pain. God is with us in the hard times of Christmas. In fact, Jesus tells those of us who experience these things to "come". We are invited, encouraged, and urged to come to Him with it all, and He will give us His rest.

“Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

When things are hard, we need rest. When we have rested, we can better handle the hard things. Rest does not make them all disappear. While some of us may experience miraculous restoration of relationships or provision of costs associated with Christmas, many hardships may remain. We will still miss loved ones who have passed away, have to make decisions about how to navigate difficult relationships, and need to manage expectations according to our budgets. Rest gives us the strength for this. We can carry on without feeling depleted.

As if giving birth in a stable was not challenging enough, Mary, Joseph, and Jesus did not get to go home after the census that took them to Bethlehem. They had to flee to another country to avoid Jesus being killed by Herod. They escaped to Egypt, a land that historically represented bondage and suffering to their people. They spent the first years of new parenthood away from family, friends, and the familiar, and it was not by choice.

Christmas movies and commercialism have sold us the idea that Christmas should be picture-perfect. The reality is, much about the first Christmas was far from idyllic. We can celebrate the coming of God to the world without feeling disappointed if our Christmases are less than perfect. A tension may exist between an unrealistic expectation of a flawless Christmas and our lived experience. The differences between the reality of Christ's birth and our real-life issues, however, are less stark.

How to Prepare for Christmas When Christmas is Hard

So instead of aspiring to perfection, be honest about the imperfections and the challenges you face around the season. Prepare for Christmas with a focus on the spiritual and emotional aspects.

Here are five ways you can prepare for Christmas when it's hard:

1. Make Space for Stillness

It is so easy to rush through the Christmas season, trying to tick off activities, gifts, and responsibilities. This Christmas, try not to get caught up in the rush. Each day, slow down with a few minutes of silence or quiet prayer, and rest in God’s presence. Set an alarm to do this in the middle of each day, to remind yourself of what and Who really matters.

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10)

2. Practise Thanksgiving

Even small things are signs of God's grace in your life. Spend time each morning and evening expressing gratitude to God for things like warmth, food, friendship, breath, and bird song. Thank God for anything that makes you comfortable, smile, or grateful.

Gratitude can soften sorrow without denying it. Jesus does not expect us to deny that our struggles exist, but He is worthy of our praise in the midst of it all. When we are deliberate about practising thanksgiving, we become even more aware of His presence in our lives and world. Thanksgiving lets God's into the our lives.

3. Simplify and Set Boundaries

During this season, there can be so many things to do, places to be, and people to see or please. It’s okay to say no, spend less, or do Christmas differently. Sometimes, peace looks like simplicity. Are there any traditions you actually dread or could do without? Think about whether they can be modified or eliminated.

You can find peace at Christmas. Granted, it is not always practical to avoid everything and everyone that is difficult. Instead, we can set appropriate boundaries with people, our finances, and our time. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you with His peace as you make plans and interact with people this Christmas. It may take a few Christmases to craft a simple Christmas season, but you can make a start today.

4. Lean into the Love Around You

It's okay to ask for and to accept help, share burdens, or reach out to someone trustworthy.

All the love around us exists because Jesus loves us. As we receive love and support from others, we glimpse His love. Don't deny yourself that opportunity because someone might not do things exactly as you would, because you are afraid your requests for help will be rejected, or for any other reason.

“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

You can also benefit from reaching out in love to others. You don't need to add more to your plate than you can handle. But you can ask God to allow you the privilege of meeting someone's need or being an answer to their heart's cry this season.

Think about those you know. Who might be struggling with this time of year? Reach out to them and let them know you see them, and God does too. Offer prayer and, where possible, practical support. Share this post with someone who might find the Christmas season challenging.

5. Examine Christmas with Fresh Eyes

Read Biblical accounts of Jesus's arrival in our world. Ask Jesus to come to you through His Word.

• Matthew 1:18-25: This passage describes the circumstances surrounding Jesus' birth, including the angel's message to Joseph about Mary's miraculous conception by the Holy Spirit. It emphasises the fulfilment of prophecy regarding the virgin birth.

• Matthew 2: This chapter includes the visit of the Wise Men (Magi) who come to honour the newborn king, as well as King Herod's reaction to the news of Jesus' birth.

• Luke 1:26-38: This passage tells of the angel Gabriel's visit to Mary to announce that she will conceive Jesus.

• Luke 2:1-20: The most detailed account of the nativity story, describing the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem, the birth of Jesus, and the visit of the shepherds who are informed by angels of the Saviour's birth.

Prepare for Christmas with the Advent Devotional Series: "Preparing for His Coming". Experience His hope, peace, joy, and love.

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A Prayer for Those Who Find Christmas Hard

Please join me in praying for those who find the season challenging. If you are one of those people, know that I have prayed this for you.

Heavenly Father, many wish for this season to be filled with joy, but instead it feels heavy. While the world sparkles and celebrates, many hearts quietly ache. Some of us face financial pressures that make giving and gathering hard. Some have strained relationships or experience the pain of loneliness. Some are grieving the absence of loved ones during a season that encourages togetherness. And some of us feel tired or overwhelmed by the weight of expectations.

Thank You Jesus, for seeing it all and being with each one of us. You are Immanuel. You are God with us. You are with us in the light and laughter, and You are with us in the weariness and the waiting. Thank You that You came close to a broken and hurting world, and that You will never leave us or let us down. Thank You for understanding what it means to feel sorrow, rejection, and need.

Give peace to restless minds today. Remind all who feel unseen that You notice every sigh and every sacrifice. Remind all who lack that You are Provider and Shepherd.

Fortify our hearts in Your truth. Comfort and encourage us with Your presence. Water seeds of hope through ordinary moments like a kind word or a chance to pause. And help us share these with others.

This Christmas, may we be assured of Your promise to be with us always. May Your love encompass every hurting heart, heal every place of strain, and bring light where shadows have fallen.

May we rest in Jesus, our Wonderful Counsellor, Prince of Peace, and unfailing Friend. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Blessing in Action: Preparing for Christmas When Christmas is Hard

“Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

This week, take a few moments to rest in God’s presence. You don’t need the right words or the perfect setting. Simply sit still, breathe, and whisper "Immanuel". Receive His peace. It will come and meet you where you are.

Blessings!

Boma

Share your advice for preparing for Christmas when Christmas is hard in the comments.